Jaane De - Irrfan Khan

April 2020 is over. 

Closer to the end of lockdown - Hell Yes!

Wish not to see brilliance of Hindi Cinema not darkening in the last 2 days - Hell Yess!!

I was never a fan of the Kapoor sons until Ranbir Kapoor rocked the screen.. But since the last few months have been following Neetu Kapoor's Insta and Rishi Kapoor's death yesterday, seemed too close than I thought. His works in Mulk and Do Dooni Char were more close to home than the ones he was known for years. 

But Irrfan Khan is a different story. 

News of his death made me sad. Really sad. Have never been a die hard fan of his work or personality or roles that he played in the movies that I saw of him, but without an ounce of a doubt loved the characters he played and the way he played them. Be it the quiet admin executive in Lunchbox, talkative friend of Metro, quirky and irritating travel partner of Piku or the simpleton husband in Namesake... They left an impression. Long after the TV screen is shut off - I used to find myself thinking about them...their existence, his role, his acting, his persona!

While picking a movie tonight, I just wanted to see him on screen so J put this not so recent Qarib Qarib Singlle. I am seriously not sure whether his deep eyes took over the entire movie or his witty character. He had those eyes..you know -  where you think they are speaking to you. A lot more than the lines penned by the dialogue writer. Even when you see his film promo shoot pictures, you tend to get the same feeling as if his eyes are somewhere else. His heart trying to look or find something else. Something far fetched, beyond, unspoken, unarticulated! 

While watching the movie 2 thoughts that lingered in my mind along with laughing on the witty n funny scenes the duo created. 1 - why is the person valued even more after he/she is gone?  2 - will his wife ever be able to see these movies without breaking her heart all over again? can they truly mourn the loss of his life when they can see him talking, laughing, doing crazy stuff on screen? 

kya aisa nahin lagega abhi peeche mudenge aur banda saamne khada hoga? for his fans - perhaps no. jitni baar uski movie dekhenge aisa lagega jaise banda zinda hai. but what about his family? where are they going to get the acceptance that he is no more amongst them? how? 

yeh sawal itna umda isiliye hai ke kahin na kahin shayad humein apni mortality ka bhi ehsaas hota hai. woh 1 hi haqeeqat jo satya hai. perhaps that's why this hit more close to home than anything else! 

There is a song in the movie which perhaps sums up my teary-eyed emotion today. 

I had heard the song once or twice on J's playlist earlier too - but today I found it profound.. With much more depth to it. And perhaps trying to pacify my own self that its ok to let go. Jaane waale jaate hain - jaane de..

Hope you do not loose your entertainment streak in whichever world you are - Irrfan. Act in Peace!